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Monday, January 11, 2016

Being She - On Our Own..

It’s a day before the day I should have started my new venture towards a much bolder and confident self of me, I sit and browse through the net, like I usually do, thinking of the same thought, for around 1..2.. .. 31... 78… 99th time in my life on ‘Why I am not able to make it?” at least this time. Well, people ask me how I know so many stuffs and make me feel like I am really capable of doing something great. But this tiny brain of mine is just curious to get lost in the endless tunnel of links that pulls u deep down like Alice in Wonderland. And there will be this freaking ‘Thani Oruvan’ kind of sequence where I discover the connection between the first link and the one I am seeing then. (Ohhh!! How my mind wished for the Kathi Jail Scene BGM to play then...). In that plethora of links I surfed through yesterday, a stand up comedy video on Marital Rape by Daniel and a poem ‘If I should have a daughter' by Sarah Kay made a Super Nova impact on me. These are some random debris of thoughts caused by the after-effects of the impact.

I had thought and wrote many times about how women should be and how we should achieve greatness and fight conformity. But whenever I put up this statement, the immediate response even from my close friends would be a sarcastic nod and a bunch of reasons on why one cannot. Not until recently I understood why it is so difficult to do what you want to do as a woman. You might have ambitious dreams to silly wishes. But most women lack the perfect ingredients to cook a delicious success in their life. It’s simply because there is no/very less driving force inside us.  Isn’t it obvious that a baby bird habituated in a forest would eventually fly one day as it has all the sky to explore and inspiring birds around it to do so? But a baby bird, which is in a small sophisticated house, with no necessary need to fly and gets everything it wants, merely staying in the same place has a high chance to end up with a satisfied mindset.  Its purpose is live to eat and any other activity is considered wrong and out of ordinary by the environment. Now, if this small bird starts flying and enjoys the heights and finds a different reason for living, that’s what a real triumph is.

Even when surrounded with an environment that teaches and bombards with ideals of how a woman should be at every age of her life, an environment that is less comfort and more of distress, an environment that keeps pulling her down, an environment that barks at her with all possible ifs and buts, an environment that least cares to give an arm when fallen down, I believe there is no assurance or inspiration from anywhere in the world around her, she pulls herself up and runs further towards a goal that hardly anyone cares. She is the woman who runs her own race and is absolutely free. She is the woman who is self-inspired and is inspiring. She is the woman who doesn’t settle for what is given. She is the woman who dares to break the silence and shows aggression.

The descriptions of ideal women created down the ages are nothing but echoes of ideas propagated by men. Either there are brutal men who behave like an insane animal or compassionate and egoistic men who treat women like a property to be taken care of. (Yes you heard that... We are neither your car nor your puppy. We are a human being like you. With flesh,mind, brain and feelings...). And we women accepted them without a question. Still I don’t believe in women trying to act like men to feel strong and confident. Wearing clothes like men and smoking like men will never make you strong. That is like a guy trying to have curly hair to become or feel like Sachin Tendulkar. Yes, its that lame!

You as yourself are beautiful and confident like any other human being. There is no need to change oneself and fight a war that never ends. So when there is naturally a driving force inside you and you strive to achieve something in your life, go for it. You don’t need others to touch your ego, push you to achieve, make you feel incapable.

Inspire yourself and inspire others!!

Friday, February 6, 2015

Being She – The decided-not-to-see side of Sita


Sita – A name derived from Sanskrit word meaning “furrow” (a trench in ground by a plow) was given by King Janaka who found Sita as a baby while ploughing land for yagam and decided to adopt her. Hence Sita is considered to be child of the Mother Earth (Bhuma Devi).

Now, if we ask our friends to choose between Rama/Krishna, Sita/Radha, I believe that most of the people will choose Krishna over Rama and Radha over Sita. The reasons are obvious as Ramayana being the tale of misery and all we know was Rama suffered with Sita during exile. Happened in Treta Yuga, Rama being the Maryadha Purushan, who followed the rules perfectly, suffered silently at many points in his life. Following rules is very difficult and we all will accept nodding our head. Now being wife of a rule follower, imagine how difficult that would be.

Sita was not an ordinary woman. Janaka raised her to have independent thoughts and self responsible for her life. Some say that she even killed a demon with thousand heads during her early life. But then why did not she kill Ravana? Why did she live so faithful to Rama even after so many sufferings? Why was she ready to burn herself to prove? Why did she deny returning to the kingdom?  Why did she silently survive everything when all Rama could do was follow rules?

Because Sita was the child of Mother Earth, a symbol of patience and tolerance. If she was able to kill a demon she could have easily slayed Ravana all by herself. Instead she decided to let Rama do his role. (Same with Hanuman, who decided not to kill Ravana hence burnt the city)She let him be the dutiful ideal Son. She let him be the people serving ideal King. She let him be the faithful ideal Husband. And she let him be the God himself. She downplayed herself to establish Rama as God. 

But we decided not to see this side of hers. A woman who killed a demon, followed her dharma, endured the sufferings in Ayodhya, declined to return as Queen, raised her kids alone in forest can never be considered a weak, dependant, always-crying-for-help and wanna-be-saved woman. She was not a victim. She was not a person who was rescued. She was not a person who blindly followed her husband. Sita was a person full of love, knowledge and persistence. She demonstrated love, care and affection during her days with Rama. She demonstrated strength, endurance and tolerance during her exile and abduction. She demonstrated the pleasure of motherhood even as a single woman. 

All this was possible because it was a matter of choice. 
There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he's absolutely free to choose. - William M. Bulger
No law stated that Sita should not save herself. No law stated that she should abide by Rama at that point of Yuga where women enjoyed free will to some extent. She decided to make Rama, the ideal Rama, because of her love towards him. And Rama did not demand this from Sita. He earned this love and respect from her. It’s a story of this beautiful relationship which Rama and Sita shares. Sita made the Ideal Rama. Rama respected the invaluable Sita. Hence they both lived faithfully. It was not a matter of law but a matter of choice. 

Finally Sita tells that

- By nature, a woman is very much capable of taking care of herself and her family. 

- Love is not a matter of law but is a matter of choice.


References:
http://devdutt.com/articles/indian-mythology/female-as-alpha.html

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